STYL'N WITH LINDA

So there was an awards show yesterday, and I think it was the Golden Globes. Don't ask me for the details on who won what cause I'm not big on the details and technicality. I was actually surprised to see Adele there (stalker singer, I don't think she has a last name?) as I thought it was for movies, but apparently its's for the works. Strangely no sight of Lara, she should get her people to talk to their people, surely a Logie nominee should be on the invite list?

Anyway, I'm here to give you a run down on who wore what.  I see the Sydney Morning Herald did a best / worst dressed list, and as one as esteemed as they I give you my bit. Also as an upcoming Lara-ite my day will come that I'll be needing a stylist so thought it best I got my eye in.   So here we go:

First up is Anne Hathaway, I used to like her till she did a movie with my man Hugh, any woman that gets closer to Hugh than me is on my blacklist. (though I have slept in Hughs bedroom Anne, in ya face!- okay thats a long story and he wasn't in said bedroom at the time, but still.)

So Anne I think Molly Ringwald calls and she wants her 80's hairstyle back. Also, where are your boobs? I see they have given you a globe, I suggest you put said globe down your dress, if you win one next year you'll be set with a lovely pair of golden globes.  Apart from that, I like the simplicity. Would look better with cowboy boots.

And onto Adele. The singer with no surname. It's nice they let her out of that special place for the awards night. At least I'm assuming anyone with her history of stalking would be locked up? She is sporting a hairdo from the B-52's here, in fact I think she has borrowed the whole outfit from an old film clip of theirs. I guess she didn't have enough for a new dress after paying bond?  I like the heavy false lashes though, and her nails. Would look better with blundstone work boots. 

This is Zooey surname something I can't spell. Now the style critics have been rather harsh on her for some reason.  But personally I like the pearls, how can they be wrong? I am not even going to make a joke about a pearl necklace. I said I am not even going to make a joke about a pearl necklace. I said...oh whatever, I think you missed it. I love the red though and I love the fact she has the huge signs behind her in case she forgot where she was wearing her big red, shiny ensemble too.  You know, just in case she thought she was putting out the garbage in it and then the signs reminded her, 'shit the bed I'm at an awards show'. Zooey can do no wrong in my eyes, but it would look better with gumboots. 

I can't judge Isla, she just killed me with her death glare. She forgot to read the signs behind her, you are at an awards show love cheer up, also THERE WILL BE FREE CHAMPAGNE ISLA. I don't think she deserves this pretty sparkly number at all based on her bad attitude. Trust me, if I had a sparkly dress and free champagne I'd be pretty darn chipper. I assume she may not be able to smile for fear of getting lipstick on her teeth. Who put that colour lipstick on her? Overall, would look better with riding boots.

For the love of God would everyone cheer up? More bored faces from the Aussies, this time whats her face (name alludes me, help me out) and her equally as boring husband. I think I saw him in an action movie I was forced to watch once, and I think I saw her in a movie with a big hairy person that wasnt her husband, it was King Kong. It's all a bit unclear though. What are they doing there? I will say this, her dress almost sports a little cape, so for this I give her 2 points. Apart from that, yaaaawn.  Would look better if they both were booted off the carpet. 

This is Ben Affleck, I think he is a very good actor in a very bad suit. Does that suit have shiny bits on it? Also, thats one hell of a forehead. It would be handy if you were say a beef cow being judged. Thats a forehead to be proud of, bone, width, that foreheads got it. On a human though Im a little bit freaked so I'm backing away slowly. Entire look though would really be set off with a natty pair of motorbike boots.

Up now we have Jodie Foster, Jodie is sporting some bondage straps and super smooth haircut. She must have been reading Fifty Shades of Grey and is getting her bondage on. I don't have much to say here other than isn't she like 50 now? She looks pretty darn good for fifty so I want to know what face cream you are using Jodie? Also at your age, just work your look back with slippers.

Almost perfection. Would look better naked and in my bed.