The Golden Globes 15 - Through Linda's Eyes

So, I have just trawled through 124 photos of the stars in their finest at said event above, saved a shitload of the pics to my Macbook,  only to discover that when I saved them it didn't actually save their names for me. I have no clue what their names are (or who they are really) so I'll be taking a stab in the dark and see what we come up with.

So first up I can't go past this. I even know them (well not to invite them over for a cuppa and a biscuit but you get my drift). It's George and Anal. Recently married golden couple. I'm not a George fan actually. Too smarmy by far. Bores the pants off me (actually no, that would be a good thing, he bores me so much I'd be leaving my pants on).  This pic makes the roll call though because GLOVES. I had heard people mentioning them but I had no idea she had been borrowing my vets artificial insemination gloves and was off to do a spot of AI'ing of some horse and cattle. WHO KNEW! I thought she was only known as being the hot, smart, lawyer chick wife of Mr Clooney. I DID NOT KNOW SHE DID AI TOO?! She could definently be a vet and I might take an interest in her now.

Next up I think I have discovered Kim and Kanye. Well I have discovered a slightly smug looking coloured man and a woman with a big booty and her boozies out. So its GOT to be them.

The next couple confused me greatly. I know her name but it eludes me right now. I am pretty sure she is married and possibly with a child in real life, but here she is posing with this twelve year old who looks concerned and possibly constipated. That goes with the theme though as she is wearing, kid you not, my toilet roll dollies dress. 

Can someone please help the girl behind in black to the toilet??? She looks lost. Thanks...

I don't know this one from a bar of soap, but she must make the grade as she has worked back a dress with a sleeping bag.  I like that. She has come prepared and mixed fashion with comfort. Also, if she doesn't make it home she can just curl up in this.  I like the forward planning that was involved. She's probably even stashed some spare knickers up those big sleeves.

Lorde, I KNEW THIS ONES NAME. Actually if she wasn't Taylor Swifts friend she would be dead to me, I've yet to ever see her smile. I hold out hope there are redeeming features about her on the fact she IS Tay Tays friend. Also, I don't feel bad I said that because I am a nobody and she is a multi mega star who actually writes great lyrics.  But I still don't like her personal style, but thats okay, pretty sure she would hate mine.

She is seen here channelling Angelina and Brads daughter Shiloh's style.

Can somebody please help the girl in black again?? She seriously needs the loo, its getting urgent. 

 I don't know who this guy is, but his eyebrows are doing the Staying Alive dance at me. His suit says he might be about to bust into this at the after party too.

Someone from Dynasty is also here. Wow didn't that show get cancelled before I was born? Is it getting inducted into the Hall of Fame? Is her hair?

This poor woman I really feel for, her spanx won't allow her to breath and her botox won't allow her to smile. Maybe she too needs the loo like poor girl in black...

She's still looking... "excuse me have you seen the toilet?'

Anna, oh Anna. DIVINE. I can't say one bad thing about this. Where do I get this dress? And can I get an invite to the Oscars to wear it to?  Shamelessly girl crushing. 

I'm very disappointed in Channing lately. Well ever since Magic Mike I've been disappointed because he has been clothed.  He looks ridiculous. Just take your clothes back off. 

Idiot. 

Also I hope thats not your impossibly attractive wife with you. I am beginning to feel inadequate and unattractive and it's clearly ALL YOUR FAULT MATE. (can someone pass me an ice-cream? ta)

On that note we must finish for the evening. Gotta go eat ice-cream and cry over Channing... I was quite a fan of this stunning blue dress though, not to mention girl in black, still wandering lost, looking for that elusive loo. I hope she found it.

Still can't do the numbers...

According to the calendar I am on day 12. According the photos which I am late uploading, I still can't count, follow a simple calendar or match the day to the photo.  I was doing well but we are in double digits and once things like alcohol also enter the mix, it's really not ever going to end well.

So anyway.  I'm quickly throwing up my Photo A Day challenge pics because it's a challenge and I will rise to it.  They were taken on the correct day, my Instagram page is proof, the really bad entry just before midnight after a day at the races is certainly an indication that I was making that entry and no one was stopping me, even though I tried five times to spell the word races. So let's get this over with and move on to more important things LIKE THE GOLDEN GLOBES.

So I think we were up to Day 9 (Jan 9). The prompt was 'Pattern'.  These were a a present at Christmas from my parents, and don't these babies just sing summer. They will be going in my suitcase come October when we head to Fiji for a tropical wedding and holiday. Ohhhh bring it!!

Day 10 asked me for a "hello".  Now January 10 was another race day. Kumara Race Day, and my phone died pretty early in the piece so we only got two pics the entire day.  One of the ponies, so despite a scant memory of the event it appears I really was there.  I also found this once I got back from the pub and got the phone on charge again. Thank god as I really needed that hello shot.  Also interesting to note we thought it was about 3am when we left the pub and we got home it was, wait for it... 11pm. AMAZEBALLS. We are getting old.  Anyway, the shot of Mr J I got to title "hello". He's got as many teeth as the horse. Good man that one.

Here's my one and only other races pic, evidence of horses.

The local paper retweeted the ponies one come to think of it, but they didn't retweet my Mr J one. Rude.

Then it brings us to day 11. I'm rushing here as I was hungover and couldn't even get the day / number match correct. I was hungover and the prompt was "I see". I saw nothing but my bed all day. I did not get vertical. I apologise parents, I am forty and still get hangovers like a teenager. I also still can't do the farking numbers. So here is photo of what "I saw". With wrong number, and we are nearly up to date.

And todays! Yes, up to date, cause this is EXCRUCIATINGLY BORING when you get so far behind. Todays prompt was bright. Nothing exciting here either as I didn't get to eat the 'bright'. Snapped some lollies. I drooled over them but did not partake. Also more exciting things to think about. The golden globe awards are on, theres a top 13 ice-creams awards in the SMH Paper and I just can't even deal with ALL THE FEELINGS I am having about these things. So here's the pic and lets move on to more important things.

I looked at the Calendar - It's Day 8

Landscape Day.  I live and work right near the beach so that was a no brainer. Down I trotted at lunchtime and snapped some piccies.  Here they are.

Yes, this post wins the award for my shortest entry ever... miracles do exist. BELIEVE!

I forget what day we are up to, but it's titled "Currently Reading"

Look, I DON'T DO NUMBERS. I know the photo a day challenge relates to the date, therefore even a simpleton would remember what the photoaday number we are at, but there's idiots, and then there is myself around numbers. I'm bigger than the idiot okay? We are over the number five now, so I'm struggling. I have to leave the number out now. TOO HARD. 

More exciting though was todays photo was titled "Currently Reading". That I can deal with.  From a very early age I HAVE HATED NUMBERS. Yes caps are required. Yes I know it's yelling. I HATE THEM and I have always LOVED AND ADORED READING.  I recall vividly being amongst the early readers in primary school and being ahead in leaps and bounds, but even back then dragging badly, oh so shamefully behind in the numbers game. 

It never changed. Despite remedial maths classes, extra tuition, no matter what, the learning disability (and complete fear and HATRED OF NUMBERS) has never gone.  But words? I adore thee.  I don't think I've met a book I didn't like, and I'll even forgive page numbers for hovering on the bottom of my beloved beauties.  

Actually there are books out there not to my liking of course, not my genre, possibly about the dreaded math that I hate, but I do spare some love their way for the mere fact they are a book, and someone has written words and put together such a thing.  For that I'll like it, even if it's not one I myself would actually read. 

So my photo challenge prompted me to ask what I was reading. This was another conundrum, because like some people watch multiple TV shows at once, depending what time it is, you know 6pm the news, 7pm Big Bang Theory, 8pm How I Met Your Mother (yes, I'm very high brow aren't I?); I will have a number of books going at any one time.  There's the light hearted chick lit book, the drift off to sleep book, the old comfort book, the very in depth and don't come near me I need to concentrate book, often an old vintage pony book on the go (don't ask, it's another story again). At any time I will be reading six books at once and equally totally, completely into all of them.   For the photo of the day I picked up one of my "heart" books, Anne of Green Gables, actually it may have technically been Anne of the Island, I can't recall.  Was one of the Anne ones anyway.  Many of my books are in storage back in Australia but some of my beloveds made the trek across the seas as I could't bear the thought of being apart from them for so long. 

Oh yes, I have a kindle too and I know I can also get them there.  Despite loving my vintage books I also love the kindle for a myriad of reasons that I'll go into later, but I can't right now because I'm thinking of Lucy Maud Montgomery. ahhhhh, LM Montgomery, author of the Anne Series, Emily of New Moon Series, the Story Girl books. If ever words are written in my heart it's hers.  I grew up reading these and they have long stayed with me.  Like many are obsessed with Jane Austen's novels, I'm a little obsessed with Montgomery's.  I have Prince Edward Island where they were set on my bucket list, I want to see where she lived, I want to sit and drink in where she wrote those words.  GOD I HAVE GOT TO SHUT UP.

Seriously, PUFFED SLEEVES MUTHAFUCKAS!!! 

Yeah, okay she wouldn't have said that, Anne was written in 1908 for a start. But sometimes I have to say that to calm myself down or I'm lost in my Prince Edward Island world of 1908.

Words, I farking love em. There. Better.

I'm also mildy obsessed with Little Woman.  Louisa May Alcott. LM Alcott. What is it with the LM? Is this why I haven't become a brilliant writer? My initials are LJ Walker not LM? Must look into changing name by deed poll.  When I say mildly obsessed what I mean is I may have rewritten three different endings to the first book.  (yes, there are subsequent books, Little Men and Jo's Boys).  This was waaaaaay before I knew about that little thing called FanFiction, but I have never been quite satisfied with the ending (god, sorry Louisa, I love you so much, but why, why not Jo and Teddy?!) so I wrote some alternate endings that suited me better. I often think I might try them out on a FanFiction site, but I was a lot younger when I wrote them so they are quite wordy and melodramtic. You know, much like my writing now.

PUFFED SLEEVES MUTHAFUCKAS!!!

Right, calmed down again.  Before you are thinking I am a big nerd that only reads novels set in the dark ages of dashing men and women in big dresses, beeeeeep. Wrong, they just happen to be very close to my heart. I read (devour is probably a more apt word) pretty much everything. But don't go dissing Montgomery on me... she is my kindred spirit. 

Shite, I just recalled I have to post a pic today don't I? That's what I came here for. 

Here we go, currently reading. My book. In my little writing corner. You are now free to go. Congrats on getting this far. What an effort.  

Anne Shirley Wisdom

Okay, usually every word of LM Montgomery is written in my heart and revered in a way that others might worship the bible. Other times I just want to to let rip in a more light hearted way with some of the other wisdom I have learnt from her characters over the years, like this one

PUFFED SLEEVES MUTHAFUCKA!!! 

This one was for you my dollies

"the puffiest"

Mwah xx

6 January - Circle or round, take your pick

You say potato, I say a spud. No wait, that's wrong too.

I have a head a headache, I haven't had caffeine all day, there was an earthquake this morning AND I have hashtagged (is that a word or am I meant to just #? What is correct here??) anyway, I have hashtagged my picoftheday incorrect on Instagram wrong for thousands to see. I know, I know, #firstworldproblems.  I think my photo a day challenge below was meant to be round, or was it circle, either way, here it is. I planned to write about it but my headache prevents it.

Moved here to start a gold mine and you'll hear about it one day if you are bored enough to stick around, but until then here is a photo of the dump truck wheels... which are round, or circles, or freaking something.  Hashtag too tired to care. #passmethenurofen. Also you can drink with that right?

Wheels on the dump truck go round and round, or circle and circle. Sing it how you wish. 

January 5 - Square

5^th January heralded back to work for a majority of us, myself included.  From the races yesterday to work today I’ll admit it was a bit of a downfall.  Not that I dislike work, far from it. But if there was a choice between sitting in the sun watching ponies run and drinking, or wearing my PJ's all day and slobbing on the lounge as opposed to going to work, NO BRAINER. 

Photo of the day called for a square, easy enough as I found myself longingly looking at the leave calendar that was covered in them, none of the little suckers bearing my name.  Bastards. 

Anyway...  I’m not a particularly career orientated person.  This is quite a conundrum as nor am I maternal. According to society (or the various Dolly and Cleo quizzes I took as a teen) I was meant to fall firmly in one camp or the other.  When you say you are forty and don’t have children I think people expect me to say I have been busy becoming an international human rights lawyer,  or certainly something more impressive that what I’m currently doing which is working as a temp at the local council here in a town of a few thousand. 

Woops. Me bad.  

Okay so I have done a few things more impressive than that in the past but nothing earth shattering (like an International human rights lawyer ala Mr Darcy in Bridget Jones Diary) but I have never felt the need to climb the career ladder like so many others have.  Mind you I don’t have a head for heights anyway, probably fall off the fecking thing. 

It does leave you in a pickle though when you don’t fit neatly in a slot that society likes to place you. Married? Errr no. Children? Errrrr no. Oh so you are a career woman then? Errrrr sorry not that either. Oh you must have had a wildly exciting life travelling the world on a whim having passionate affairs with latin lovers no doubt.  (Okay I made the latin lovers part up, no one has asked actually asked me that - wish they would, I would make up a great yarn) but some have assumed I’ve travelled broadly.  I didn’t settle down till I was in my early thirties and spent many happy, no wait, many FREAKING AWESOME years single, but actually I never left Australia. I did do a lot of travelling around that wide brown land though. But I don’t tick the exotic flit around the world box either.   

Actually thinking of boxes that is also a square so I really am fulfilling this days photo challenge brief of “square”.  There is a lot more to say on the children / career subject no doubt, but right now I have to cook dinner (in another twist, apart from the lack of maternal instinct thing, I would have made a great 50’s housewive as I adore cooking, cleaning and making a home, no this is not a joke. Ask any close friend). I also have to upload my boring square photo for the day.

So here we go, hope we all go forth and continue to make our own boxes to tick. Why tick someone else’s when you can make your own.

Look I warned you it was boring...