The Golden Globes 15 - Through Linda's Eyes

So, I have just trawled through 124 photos of the stars in their finest at said event above, saved a shitload of the pics to my Macbook,  only to discover that when I saved them it didn't actually save their names for me. I have no clue what their names are (or who they are really) so I'll be taking a stab in the dark and see what we come up with.

So first up I can't go past this. I even know them (well not to invite them over for a cuppa and a biscuit but you get my drift). It's George and Anal. Recently married golden couple. I'm not a George fan actually. Too smarmy by far. Bores the pants off me (actually no, that would be a good thing, he bores me so much I'd be leaving my pants on).  This pic makes the roll call though because GLOVES. I had heard people mentioning them but I had no idea she had been borrowing my vets artificial insemination gloves and was off to do a spot of AI'ing of some horse and cattle. WHO KNEW! I thought she was only known as being the hot, smart, lawyer chick wife of Mr Clooney. I DID NOT KNOW SHE DID AI TOO?! She could definently be a vet and I might take an interest in her now.

Next up I think I have discovered Kim and Kanye. Well I have discovered a slightly smug looking coloured man and a woman with a big booty and her boozies out. So its GOT to be them.

The next couple confused me greatly. I know her name but it eludes me right now. I am pretty sure she is married and possibly with a child in real life, but here she is posing with this twelve year old who looks concerned and possibly constipated. That goes with the theme though as she is wearing, kid you not, my toilet roll dollies dress. 

Can someone please help the girl behind in black to the toilet??? She looks lost. Thanks...

I don't know this one from a bar of soap, but she must make the grade as she has worked back a dress with a sleeping bag.  I like that. She has come prepared and mixed fashion with comfort. Also, if she doesn't make it home she can just curl up in this.  I like the forward planning that was involved. She's probably even stashed some spare knickers up those big sleeves.

Lorde, I KNEW THIS ONES NAME. Actually if she wasn't Taylor Swifts friend she would be dead to me, I've yet to ever see her smile. I hold out hope there are redeeming features about her on the fact she IS Tay Tays friend. Also, I don't feel bad I said that because I am a nobody and she is a multi mega star who actually writes great lyrics.  But I still don't like her personal style, but thats okay, pretty sure she would hate mine.

She is seen here channelling Angelina and Brads daughter Shiloh's style.

Can somebody please help the girl in black again?? She seriously needs the loo, its getting urgent. 

 I don't know who this guy is, but his eyebrows are doing the Staying Alive dance at me. His suit says he might be about to bust into this at the after party too.

Someone from Dynasty is also here. Wow didn't that show get cancelled before I was born? Is it getting inducted into the Hall of Fame? Is her hair?

This poor woman I really feel for, her spanx won't allow her to breath and her botox won't allow her to smile. Maybe she too needs the loo like poor girl in black...

She's still looking... "excuse me have you seen the toilet?'

Anna, oh Anna. DIVINE. I can't say one bad thing about this. Where do I get this dress? And can I get an invite to the Oscars to wear it to?  Shamelessly girl crushing. 

I'm very disappointed in Channing lately. Well ever since Magic Mike I've been disappointed because he has been clothed.  He looks ridiculous. Just take your clothes back off. 

Idiot. 

Also I hope thats not your impossibly attractive wife with you. I am beginning to feel inadequate and unattractive and it's clearly ALL YOUR FAULT MATE. (can someone pass me an ice-cream? ta)

On that note we must finish for the evening. Gotta go eat ice-cream and cry over Channing... I was quite a fan of this stunning blue dress though, not to mention girl in black, still wandering lost, looking for that elusive loo. I hope she found it.

Still can't do the numbers...

According to the calendar I am on day 12. According the photos which I am late uploading, I still can't count, follow a simple calendar or match the day to the photo.  I was doing well but we are in double digits and once things like alcohol also enter the mix, it's really not ever going to end well.

So anyway.  I'm quickly throwing up my Photo A Day challenge pics because it's a challenge and I will rise to it.  They were taken on the correct day, my Instagram page is proof, the really bad entry just before midnight after a day at the races is certainly an indication that I was making that entry and no one was stopping me, even though I tried five times to spell the word races. So let's get this over with and move on to more important things LIKE THE GOLDEN GLOBES.

So I think we were up to Day 9 (Jan 9). The prompt was 'Pattern'.  These were a a present at Christmas from my parents, and don't these babies just sing summer. They will be going in my suitcase come October when we head to Fiji for a tropical wedding and holiday. Ohhhh bring it!!

Day 10 asked me for a "hello".  Now January 10 was another race day. Kumara Race Day, and my phone died pretty early in the piece so we only got two pics the entire day.  One of the ponies, so despite a scant memory of the event it appears I really was there.  I also found this once I got back from the pub and got the phone on charge again. Thank god as I really needed that hello shot.  Also interesting to note we thought it was about 3am when we left the pub and we got home it was, wait for it... 11pm. AMAZEBALLS. We are getting old.  Anyway, the shot of Mr J I got to title "hello". He's got as many teeth as the horse. Good man that one.

Here's my one and only other races pic, evidence of horses.

The local paper retweeted the ponies one come to think of it, but they didn't retweet my Mr J one. Rude.

Then it brings us to day 11. I'm rushing here as I was hungover and couldn't even get the day / number match correct. I was hungover and the prompt was "I see". I saw nothing but my bed all day. I did not get vertical. I apologise parents, I am forty and still get hangovers like a teenager. I also still can't do the farking numbers. So here is photo of what "I saw". With wrong number, and we are nearly up to date.

And todays! Yes, up to date, cause this is EXCRUCIATINGLY BORING when you get so far behind. Todays prompt was bright. Nothing exciting here either as I didn't get to eat the 'bright'. Snapped some lollies. I drooled over them but did not partake. Also more exciting things to think about. The golden globe awards are on, theres a top 13 ice-creams awards in the SMH Paper and I just can't even deal with ALL THE FEELINGS I am having about these things. So here's the pic and lets move on to more important things.

I looked at the Calendar - It's Day 8

Landscape Day.  I live and work right near the beach so that was a no brainer. Down I trotted at lunchtime and snapped some piccies.  Here they are.

Yes, this post wins the award for my shortest entry ever... miracles do exist. BELIEVE!

I forget what day we are up to, but it's titled "Currently Reading"

Look, I DON'T DO NUMBERS. I know the photo a day challenge relates to the date, therefore even a simpleton would remember what the photoaday number we are at, but there's idiots, and then there is myself around numbers. I'm bigger than the idiot okay? We are over the number five now, so I'm struggling. I have to leave the number out now. TOO HARD. 

More exciting though was todays photo was titled "Currently Reading". That I can deal with.  From a very early age I HAVE HATED NUMBERS. Yes caps are required. Yes I know it's yelling. I HATE THEM and I have always LOVED AND ADORED READING.  I recall vividly being amongst the early readers in primary school and being ahead in leaps and bounds, but even back then dragging badly, oh so shamefully behind in the numbers game. 

It never changed. Despite remedial maths classes, extra tuition, no matter what, the learning disability (and complete fear and HATRED OF NUMBERS) has never gone.  But words? I adore thee.  I don't think I've met a book I didn't like, and I'll even forgive page numbers for hovering on the bottom of my beloved beauties.  

Actually there are books out there not to my liking of course, not my genre, possibly about the dreaded math that I hate, but I do spare some love their way for the mere fact they are a book, and someone has written words and put together such a thing.  For that I'll like it, even if it's not one I myself would actually read. 

So my photo challenge prompted me to ask what I was reading. This was another conundrum, because like some people watch multiple TV shows at once, depending what time it is, you know 6pm the news, 7pm Big Bang Theory, 8pm How I Met Your Mother (yes, I'm very high brow aren't I?); I will have a number of books going at any one time.  There's the light hearted chick lit book, the drift off to sleep book, the old comfort book, the very in depth and don't come near me I need to concentrate book, often an old vintage pony book on the go (don't ask, it's another story again). At any time I will be reading six books at once and equally totally, completely into all of them.   For the photo of the day I picked up one of my "heart" books, Anne of Green Gables, actually it may have technically been Anne of the Island, I can't recall.  Was one of the Anne ones anyway.  Many of my books are in storage back in Australia but some of my beloveds made the trek across the seas as I could't bear the thought of being apart from them for so long. 

Oh yes, I have a kindle too and I know I can also get them there.  Despite loving my vintage books I also love the kindle for a myriad of reasons that I'll go into later, but I can't right now because I'm thinking of Lucy Maud Montgomery. ahhhhh, LM Montgomery, author of the Anne Series, Emily of New Moon Series, the Story Girl books. If ever words are written in my heart it's hers.  I grew up reading these and they have long stayed with me.  Like many are obsessed with Jane Austen's novels, I'm a little obsessed with Montgomery's.  I have Prince Edward Island where they were set on my bucket list, I want to see where she lived, I want to sit and drink in where she wrote those words.  GOD I HAVE GOT TO SHUT UP.

Seriously, PUFFED SLEEVES MUTHAFUCKAS!!! 

Yeah, okay she wouldn't have said that, Anne was written in 1908 for a start. But sometimes I have to say that to calm myself down or I'm lost in my Prince Edward Island world of 1908.

Words, I farking love em. There. Better.

I'm also mildy obsessed with Little Woman.  Louisa May Alcott. LM Alcott. What is it with the LM? Is this why I haven't become a brilliant writer? My initials are LJ Walker not LM? Must look into changing name by deed poll.  When I say mildly obsessed what I mean is I may have rewritten three different endings to the first book.  (yes, there are subsequent books, Little Men and Jo's Boys).  This was waaaaaay before I knew about that little thing called FanFiction, but I have never been quite satisfied with the ending (god, sorry Louisa, I love you so much, but why, why not Jo and Teddy?!) so I wrote some alternate endings that suited me better. I often think I might try them out on a FanFiction site, but I was a lot younger when I wrote them so they are quite wordy and melodramtic. You know, much like my writing now.

PUFFED SLEEVES MUTHAFUCKAS!!!

Right, calmed down again.  Before you are thinking I am a big nerd that only reads novels set in the dark ages of dashing men and women in big dresses, beeeeeep. Wrong, they just happen to be very close to my heart. I read (devour is probably a more apt word) pretty much everything. But don't go dissing Montgomery on me... she is my kindred spirit. 

Shite, I just recalled I have to post a pic today don't I? That's what I came here for. 

Here we go, currently reading. My book. In my little writing corner. You are now free to go. Congrats on getting this far. What an effort.  

Anne Shirley Wisdom

Okay, usually every word of LM Montgomery is written in my heart and revered in a way that others might worship the bible. Other times I just want to to let rip in a more light hearted way with some of the other wisdom I have learnt from her characters over the years, like this one

PUFFED SLEEVES MUTHAFUCKA!!! 

This one was for you my dollies

"the puffiest"

Mwah xx

6 January - Circle or round, take your pick

You say potato, I say a spud. No wait, that's wrong too.

I have a head a headache, I haven't had caffeine all day, there was an earthquake this morning AND I have hashtagged (is that a word or am I meant to just #? What is correct here??) anyway, I have hashtagged my picoftheday incorrect on Instagram wrong for thousands to see. I know, I know, #firstworldproblems.  I think my photo a day challenge below was meant to be round, or was it circle, either way, here it is. I planned to write about it but my headache prevents it.

Moved here to start a gold mine and you'll hear about it one day if you are bored enough to stick around, but until then here is a photo of the dump truck wheels... which are round, or circles, or freaking something.  Hashtag too tired to care. #passmethenurofen. Also you can drink with that right?

Wheels on the dump truck go round and round, or circle and circle. Sing it how you wish. 

January 5 - Square

5^th January heralded back to work for a majority of us, myself included.  From the races yesterday to work today I’ll admit it was a bit of a downfall.  Not that I dislike work, far from it. But if there was a choice between sitting in the sun watching ponies run and drinking, or wearing my PJ's all day and slobbing on the lounge as opposed to going to work, NO BRAINER. 

Photo of the day called for a square, easy enough as I found myself longingly looking at the leave calendar that was covered in them, none of the little suckers bearing my name.  Bastards. 

Anyway...  I’m not a particularly career orientated person.  This is quite a conundrum as nor am I maternal. According to society (or the various Dolly and Cleo quizzes I took as a teen) I was meant to fall firmly in one camp or the other.  When you say you are forty and don’t have children I think people expect me to say I have been busy becoming an international human rights lawyer,  or certainly something more impressive that what I’m currently doing which is working as a temp at the local council here in a town of a few thousand. 

Woops. Me bad.  

Okay so I have done a few things more impressive than that in the past but nothing earth shattering (like an International human rights lawyer ala Mr Darcy in Bridget Jones Diary) but I have never felt the need to climb the career ladder like so many others have.  Mind you I don’t have a head for heights anyway, probably fall off the fecking thing. 

It does leave you in a pickle though when you don’t fit neatly in a slot that society likes to place you. Married? Errr no. Children? Errrrr no. Oh so you are a career woman then? Errrrr sorry not that either. Oh you must have had a wildly exciting life travelling the world on a whim having passionate affairs with latin lovers no doubt.  (Okay I made the latin lovers part up, no one has asked actually asked me that - wish they would, I would make up a great yarn) but some have assumed I’ve travelled broadly.  I didn’t settle down till I was in my early thirties and spent many happy, no wait, many FREAKING AWESOME years single, but actually I never left Australia. I did do a lot of travelling around that wide brown land though. But I don’t tick the exotic flit around the world box either.   

Actually thinking of boxes that is also a square so I really am fulfilling this days photo challenge brief of “square”.  There is a lot more to say on the children / career subject no doubt, but right now I have to cook dinner (in another twist, apart from the lack of maternal instinct thing, I would have made a great 50’s housewive as I adore cooking, cleaning and making a home, no this is not a joke. Ask any close friend). I also have to upload my boring square photo for the day.

So here we go, hope we all go forth and continue to make our own boxes to tick. Why tick someone else’s when you can make your own.

Look I warned you it was boring...

January 4 - I Hear

What do I hear today the photaday challenge asked me? Thundering hooves, the crackling of the loudspeaker across the grounds, the chatter of voices around me, the rising crescendo of the crowds from the grandstand as the horses neared, kids crying, kids laughing, dogs barking... all mixed into one glorious noise in my ears. 

The local summer race circuit is happening in our little neck of South Island currently.  I'm a seasoned race goer, when I say seasoned I mean I'm spent years getting sozzled at country race meets everywhere back home in Aus.  Every picnic race meet or town gold cup I was there.  Seventeen hour round trip for races out back of woop woop? Hell to the yes, great weekender.  Give me a back road and a good set of driving lights and I'd drive all night.  (Side note, still can't get used to the no roo thing here. I still drive in the dark here on the look out ready for them.  So far the biggest thing I'd be likely to hit in my area is a penguin.  Our 4x4 we bought over with us is a little overdone for that and the only one with a full frontal replacement bullbar and sidebars on it - along with the rest of the gear.  I imagine the penguins run for cover when they see it coming)

Anyway, horse racing.  I'm subdued these days.  (See last entry below)  I'm getting on in age and I'm obviously  really, really mature now.  We won't discuss this years Albury Gold Cup event where I fell asleep in my own driveway of course... So anyway today I went to the races for the first time in about eight months.  Lovely to see some horses again (I'm horse mad, so horse mad that horses need their own entry) and was stoked to be at the races again. We drank in the sun, lost some dollars, cheered the ponies and all in all had a great day.  

I reminisced about my youth and all those race days of the past.  The fashions of the field, the time I was in Top Ten on Melbourne Cup Day at Orange Races and they decided to televise it on WIN News and the champagne they gave us in the judging tent (plus everything else I had drunk prior) went to my head and I had a woopsie slide in my heels during the catwalk. Right in front of the camera and crowds. Good times. Good times.  Birdsville Races in a massive dust storm, Warren Cotton Cup antics, Cowra Picnics which often magically fell on my birthday and was a double header weekend as you backed it up with Condo B and S the next day. Ohhhh so many memories all tied up with just the races. Friends and laughs I will never forget, or never regret. 

And here is the picture of what I heard today, that I originally came here for. Run pony run. Enjoy.

January 3 - Me Today

Okay so I was meant to post this last night, but I was drinking rum throughout the afternoon and having all of the feelings, and well I just couldn't be arsed. Besides it's not like I have an audience of millions just waiting for me to put the next pic up. (Taylor Swift and your Instagram account, yeah I'm looking at you)

So this was "me today" except it was yesterday.  There's a filter on it because I'm forty now, wrinkles are starting and vanity wins out.

Look at least I'm honest.

January 2 - Something Yellow

So, todays "photoaday" asked for something yellow.  I didn't have to search far thanks to my Christmas gift from my beloved this year, here he is below.

You will see this little guy is a plastic yellow chicken with eyes that light up thanks to a solar panel on his back. He is pretty nifty and I've been using him as a night light. (yeah, I'm a baby like that).  He is also sitting in front a bunch of pony books and vintage books I collect. I still read them too, laugh all you want. Reading Jill books takes me back to my pony mad youth that I never quite grew out of.  Don't even start me on the Anne of Green Gables books. L.M Montgomery, oh she is written in my heart.

Anyway, I digress, chookie is great. He is cute. He is fun, he made me laugh when I unwrapped him. Chookie is not an engagement ring though. Or a new pandora charm, or one of the few thousand things that filtered through my head when I was unwrapping the box on christmas morning with LOML (love of my life) watching me excitedly.  Okay, granted, I got him a remote control car to play in the park with, we aren't exactly walking a line of maturity here despite mortgages and being 40, and together for shite, is it seven years?? But we throw the idea around occasionally, and I had joked about him getting me a sparkler rock for my finger for christmas and me being too old to say "my boyfriend" these days. So when I unwrapped ol' chookie here with his light up eyes, well I think I struggled just a tad to say "oh wow, a chook! WITH LIGHT UP EYES!!!" I think I did okay though, and yes I did get another gift I really wanted of course (a food processor / blender), but I had been eyeing of that box for a couple of days under the tree and admit I had been getting a few butterflies. So forgive me for my heart falling a little, and for feeling a just a teeny tiny bit sad when I discovered chookie sitting there in his box, totally unaware in all his cute yellow glory, that he had disappointed.  

I've learnt to love the chook though, I mean, he is a chook WITH A LIGHT UP EYE FEATURE folks, what's not to love? He sits proudly next to me each night. He lights up when I need him, when I wake up with an incoming migraine (I suffer badly) I flick my little chook and he beams his way to my saviour medication, he is a gem. I've come to forgive him for what he wasn't meant to be.

So here he is. Something yellow.  Love him like I do please.

January 1 - The Sky

Can we please NOT look at the date of the last blog entry?  It really highlights the massive gap between me arriving in New Zealand and me not writing anything at all. To be fair, it's been a time of upheaval, some good times and bad and not all of it I'm ready to share with the world, so for now we will jump right into this, January 1 2015 and attempting a Photo a Day challenge.

No wait... I do want to say one thing.  The big thing with moving here was leaving my pets for a short time and waiting till we were settled so they could join us.  Benny our beautiful kelpie is here! What a star he was, it's a long way from the Griffith Pound, to Needy Paws Rescue Group where we originally came across him as a (rather mental) young kid.  He must have been wondering what the hell happened when we left him behind with our good friends to mind him till he was ready to join us.  But nearly six months later a rather dazed and confused kelpie rattled his way into AirNZ cargo hold at Christchurch where he was met with A LOT of tears and excitement from yours truly.  Benny did a few happy laps around the cargo hold reception area too once he realised who the bods were falling all over him in delight.

Was a bittersweet moment for me though, on the very same day we had paid the deposit to bring him and Jeff over, (all $3000... and not even first class!!) Jeff, my beautiful, funny,  beloved cat was hit by a car and died.  Jeff who could take on anything, I guess wasn't destined to take on NZ.

I will never forgive myself for leaving him, and it was a wobbly time for me after that and I was pretty close to going home.  Strangely, despite the beauty here, I haven't taken to it like I thought I would.  Sure it's beautiful and green, lush and full of amazing views at every turn.  But I found myself missing home,  the brown paddocks surrounding Albury, I see them as golden, I missed the weir and the Murray River. All these rivers here that are nothing short of spectacular, I couldn't warm to them. "What can you do in them I wondered" They were freezing for a start, they held no appeal for me. I ached for home.  When Jeff went, and I got that dreaded phone call that is burnt into my brain, I felt like every bit of breath in me and hope of making it here went too.  I felt briefly like this place took him from me.  I hated it for a while following it.  Like if I hadn't come here he would still be kicking around frightening the daylights out of unsuspecting dogs.

It's not true of course. I mean; Jeff was madness on four paws and had no respect for cars!! We used to joke he would never grow to an old age. He wasn't boring enough for that. But oh I threw some choice words out into universe here.  

I've calmed down since then. Benny arrived and cheered me immensely like only animals can.  I realised I had never lived without a fur kid in my life before and that six months without one had been harder than I thought.  Upheaval of a new place, and without a furry?! Yeah, won't do that again.  Mind you, Mr J, he's quite furry too with his beard so that helped...  I love seeing new places here now, but there are times where my mind tires of the green, and I get sick of those spectacular Southern Alps and just want to see the flat plains of home, and I miss seeing dust blow up behind the ute as we drive and I want to feel the hot baking sun on me.  I don't think that will ever go.

So here we are, January 1.  (well January 2 but I was never great with being on time).  Inspired by a post I saw on FB called a 'photoaday' challenge I decided to give it a go.

I presume I have as much chance of finishing this as I have of swimming back home (remembering I can't even manage to make the end of a 50 metre pool without puffing) AND considering I've never finished a challenge in my life, well  regardless, here goes.

It's run by someone / thing not really sure I just followed the prompts, called Fatmumslim for anyone playing at home, I'd put in a hyperlink here but look, been so long since I did a blog entry not sure I remember how to do that. I just had to reset my freaking password and wasn't that an episode (when your validation code from google is sent to your old Australian number and you can't find your sim card, seriously Linda, get your SHITE together). Anyway, I digress, put up the bloody picture eh?.

Here we go, January 1 2015

 SKY.

This was taken at Lake Brunner, Moana. On January 1st 2015. This is about an hour from us and we drove out for the day, with Benny of course.   It was a bit breezy when I took this so the lake was choppy, usually when it's still here you can turn the photos upside down and you really can't tell what way the photos should be because of the reflection of the sky in the water.   We have a couple of lakes much closer to us in Hoki just down the road, Lake Mahinapua and Lake Kaniere, but we hadn't seen Brunner so thought we would go for a change.   

So I've done it. I have done one day of the challenge. GO ME! 

Lake Mahinapua in Hokitika, about five minutes from our place. 

Benny in Lake Brunner yesterday. From a Riverina rescue dog to living in the Southern Alps, 

you've come a long way Bendo. Worth every cent. 

In memory of Jeff Johnson -Best. Cat. Ever...