The Golden Globes 15 - Through Linda's Eyes

So, I have just trawled through 124 photos of the stars in their finest at said event above, saved a shitload of the pics to my Macbook,  only to discover that when I saved them it didn't actually save their names for me. I have no clue what their names are (or who they are really) so I'll be taking a stab in the dark and see what we come up with.

So first up I can't go past this. I even know them (well not to invite them over for a cuppa and a biscuit but you get my drift). It's George and Anal. Recently married golden couple. I'm not a George fan actually. Too smarmy by far. Bores the pants off me (actually no, that would be a good thing, he bores me so much I'd be leaving my pants on).  This pic makes the roll call though because GLOVES. I had heard people mentioning them but I had no idea she had been borrowing my vets artificial insemination gloves and was off to do a spot of AI'ing of some horse and cattle. WHO KNEW! I thought she was only known as being the hot, smart, lawyer chick wife of Mr Clooney. I DID NOT KNOW SHE DID AI TOO?! She could definently be a vet and I might take an interest in her now.

Next up I think I have discovered Kim and Kanye. Well I have discovered a slightly smug looking coloured man and a woman with a big booty and her boozies out. So its GOT to be them.

The next couple confused me greatly. I know her name but it eludes me right now. I am pretty sure she is married and possibly with a child in real life, but here she is posing with this twelve year old who looks concerned and possibly constipated. That goes with the theme though as she is wearing, kid you not, my toilet roll dollies dress. 

Can someone please help the girl behind in black to the toilet??? She looks lost. Thanks...

I don't know this one from a bar of soap, but she must make the grade as she has worked back a dress with a sleeping bag.  I like that. She has come prepared and mixed fashion with comfort. Also, if she doesn't make it home she can just curl up in this.  I like the forward planning that was involved. She's probably even stashed some spare knickers up those big sleeves.

Lorde, I KNEW THIS ONES NAME. Actually if she wasn't Taylor Swifts friend she would be dead to me, I've yet to ever see her smile. I hold out hope there are redeeming features about her on the fact she IS Tay Tays friend. Also, I don't feel bad I said that because I am a nobody and she is a multi mega star who actually writes great lyrics.  But I still don't like her personal style, but thats okay, pretty sure she would hate mine.

She is seen here channelling Angelina and Brads daughter Shiloh's style.

Can somebody please help the girl in black again?? She seriously needs the loo, its getting urgent. 

 I don't know who this guy is, but his eyebrows are doing the Staying Alive dance at me. His suit says he might be about to bust into this at the after party too.

Someone from Dynasty is also here. Wow didn't that show get cancelled before I was born? Is it getting inducted into the Hall of Fame? Is her hair?

This poor woman I really feel for, her spanx won't allow her to breath and her botox won't allow her to smile. Maybe she too needs the loo like poor girl in black...

She's still looking... "excuse me have you seen the toilet?'

Anna, oh Anna. DIVINE. I can't say one bad thing about this. Where do I get this dress? And can I get an invite to the Oscars to wear it to?  Shamelessly girl crushing. 

I'm very disappointed in Channing lately. Well ever since Magic Mike I've been disappointed because he has been clothed.  He looks ridiculous. Just take your clothes back off. 

Idiot. 

Also I hope thats not your impossibly attractive wife with you. I am beginning to feel inadequate and unattractive and it's clearly ALL YOUR FAULT MATE. (can someone pass me an ice-cream? ta)

On that note we must finish for the evening. Gotta go eat ice-cream and cry over Channing... I was quite a fan of this stunning blue dress though, not to mention girl in black, still wandering lost, looking for that elusive loo. I hope she found it.